AWARENESS ABOUT THE CURRENT SITUATION:

• You realize the solution is not in your hands, and there is a need for professional guidance.
• In general, both partners are open to cooperating to find a resolution. They are curious for an expert’s insight and understanding of how and why they got into this chaotic situation and how to escape it.

CONNECTION AND INTIMACY:

• Deterioration of the quality of time spent together because of emotional disconnect, lack of intimate presence, and affection.
• One of the partners hates himself/herself for wanting closeness and intimacy that might make them look needy, jealous, or possessive. The other partner desires time alone and personal space for the wind-down.
• Both partners still respect and admire each other. Both can see the positive virtues they have in each other to be life partners.
• Ability to attend together social events and family gatherings without feeling discomfort

COMMUNICATION AND PROBLEM-SOLVING:

• Communication with your partner on certain subjects hits a wall.
• A cyclical conflict is where you feel you are back to the same problem but on another topic.
• Relocation of focus from “me” and “us” to “you.” You can make TED talks about what’s wrong with your partner’s attitude and overall state of being, as well as their needs and desires.

SEXUALITY:

• Sexuality can be either mechanic and blunt at a survival level or become sexuality, leaning a bit towards perversion where one of the partners uses sexuality (unconsciously) as a way to discharge aggressive emotions. The other partner feels used sexually or as if they have experienced a disguised rape they agreed to, which leaves a bitter taste.

The nuances around sexuality become very subtle and intensely sharp in the way they shape individual experiences regardless of how much you love each other and how good your past sex experience was.

DYNAMISM AND ADVANCEMENT:

• You see yourself as overly invested in the relationship without being appreciated enough or receiving back at the desired level.
• Rise of insecurities leading to power struggles, financial disagreements, and a tendency to be in a position of either self-defensiveness or control
• Whatever initiative one partner comes up with to spice things up, the other partner never responds well to it.
• Both partners become too quick to try a solution from their closed perspective and assumptions of what they think they already know about their partner.

This is a period of change, renewal, and shifting identities, during which both partners must be open to rediscovering themselves, their beloved, and the union.

HOUSEHOLD MANAGEMENT:

• A functional household with a structure in place where everyone knows their duties, and there is no arguing about it.

FUTURE VISION AND LEGACY BUILDING:

• The mental energy invested in overthinking and analyzing the current situation makes it challenging to create the right environment for discussing plans and long-term vision.
• This situation is uncomfortable and may negatively impact your well-being and performance in your professional life.

The split happens at this stage if no professional guidance is offered. Partners adopt a distinct attitude :

THE TEMPORARY ESCAPE:
One of the partners will seem to be doing well on the surface. They will indulge in activities that provide instant gratification to cope with anxiety and escape the marriage and suffocating household vibes.
It doesn't matter whether the coping mechanism seems healthy or unhealthy because it's a way of choosing singlehood in a marriage.

• Overworking, even when you can free yourself and dedicate your time to your partner and family.
• Leisure activities or hobbies that feed the need to be seen, praised, and appreciated.
• Overspending and impulsive shopping
• Pornography
• Limit your self-expression to the role of parent, kill the man or the woman, and repress the pain.
• Addiction, substance use

THE TEMPORARY COMPROMISE:
This partner will lose themself bit by bit. They erase their identity in the process of compromising, constant adaptation to avoid whatever narrative of pain is playing in the background of their subconscious mind about losing their partner, getting a divorce...They will do all it takes to avoid the worst scenario for them. This results in conditioning the nervous system and body biochemistry into a state of hyper-alertness and survival that leads to exhaustion, anxiety, inadequate sleep quality, and disconnect from one's desires and the inner compass that allows us to see what's on the immense horizon. The narrow-minded focus makes a person dumb, unable to see the big picture, and unable to see limitless possibilities, to dream awake, and to create from desire with optimism.

Other Characteristics of this stage:

• Limited inner resources and build-up resentment

"I do what I must do by moral obligation, nothing less, nothing more."

• Divergent paths: The more you walk, the further apart you will be. Some very apparent problems and disagreements can touch more than one area.
• Unwillingness to attend social events and family reunions together; if you do, it's very uncomfortable.
• Finding yourself comparing your couple to other couples and feeling sad or unlucky.

Rare or absent sexual intimacy.

• Whatever vision you had previously for your marriage, family, and legacy will feel outdated and old.
• Mental and physical exhaustion
• At an avanced stage, a need for emotinal connection that will eventially lead to an affair.

What marks this stage is an uncovered affair, abuse, or some sort of drama or scandal that's as serious as an affair. All the repressed pain at stage two will come to the surface again, but this time with an expensive bill as well.

The cost is a traumatic divorce with consequences that you will have to deal with for a long time. Freedom is priceless but also not within reach.
Recovering at this stage is possible for a few couples, but let's be honest, it won't be a walk in the park.

Is it possible to divorce happily without leaving unfinished business behind or causing harm to oneself and others? Yes, it is!

Only by going through the Romance and Legacy Process will you realize in which direction your destiny is meant to be